On July 23, 2018 at approximately 2:00am, my friend and brother in Christ, Benjamin Coyner passed away from cancer. Before I go into what happened, let me tell you how I met him:
I met Ben at a church (New Harvest Ministry) retreat at Nami Island in Gangwondo, South Korea. From there, I found out a few things we had in common. First, we had both lived in similar areas. Ben lived in Orange County, California during his middle school and high school days and I was born and raised in Los Angeles. Secondly, we both had passion for baseball. He actually started off an Angels fan but got converted when the Dodgers won the World Series in 1988. I have always been an Angels fan because my grandma took me to their games when I was a kid. Finally, New Harvest Ministry was the first church we both went to when we came to Seoul.
But despite all of those things we had in common, only one thing stood out the most. Ben was a caring and positive person. He always listened to you and he was great at sharing his opinions on everything. He would call me after his small group was finished and see what I was doing. One time I said I was at Popeye's eating chicken and he came and stopped by. One other time, I told him I was at Kyobo Bookstore and he met me there after he was done with small group. Ben loved fellowship and he loved being around people, playing games, reading the Word, and just enjoying other's company.
We knew each other for 13 years and had many of the same mutual friends: Jonathan Greener, Erik Turkelson, Justin Barbaree, Tanya Huggett, Edward Vanorder, Evan Bloom, Sam Kim, Joon Hyun, and many others....
So what happened?
Two years ago, Ben had a cyst in his tooth but didn't think it was serious and let it go. Later on that cyst developed into stage four tongue cancer. From that point on, it was an uphill battle. He went through bouts of chemotherapy and had one major surgery because the cancer spread to his neck. When he had his first surgery, he dealt with extreme fatigue but he was recovering. Before he had cancer, he was on the choir and when he thought he beat his first battle, he gave a wonderful testimony on stage at church which you can see here:
He even sang on stage and we were all cheering him on and giving praise to God. Unfortunately, the battle hadn't been won yet. The doctors didn't see a cluster of cancer cells that were in a small clump in his neck. This lead to his cancer spreading to his lungs.
Jon Greener, our close mutual friend and coworker at the time, texted me one day and said that Ben was having trouble breathing and they feared that they lost him. I sent a text to Ben to find out what happened and he said that Jon was exaggerating and that it was more of a choking feeling than anything else. Ben was positive despite serious circumstances.
Just to let you know how serious things had gotten, Ben texted me three weeks later that his cancer was incurable. It was one of the worst things you could read from a friend. Our mutual friends and myself were all in shock and disbelief. I went to visit him a couple of times at his home and I could see his health deteriorate very quickly. He couldn't speak at all and his face got swollen. He also had many experience of having difficulty breathing. This wasn't the Ben I was used to seeing and it was especially hard on his parents who took care of him every hour, every minute, and every second. I just can't imagine the horror of them having to see their son's health decline rapidly and not being able to do anything about it.
Yet Ben was still positive and remained strong. He knew that God was his comfort and that eternity was more important than this temporary life on Earth. That's not to say that it was easy for him. During his last two weeks on Earth, he had some fear of passing away yet he still fought cancer like a champion.
I had never met Ben parents until this year but I am certain that they did a great job of raising Ben. They are to be commended with how much care and love they poured out to Ben before he passed away. On the flip side Ben influenced Tom and Yeri Coyner. I'm sure they will realize that Ben was amazing because he truly followed Jesus’s two most important commandments: to love the Lord with all of his heart, soul, and mind and to love his neighbor as himself (Matthew 22:35-40 and Mark 12:28-35).
I love you Ben and see you when I get to Heaven bro!
Scott Worden
Instagram: l.a.seoulguy
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