Although I'm almost 44 years old, you would think that I have experienced a lot in life. Well, I just learned something very valuable as a middle-aged person that everyone needs to know. Some people might think it could be common sense, but it might not be so obvious to others. Hence, this blog post.
Here's my story. I had become an acquaintance with someone on Facebook. She was in various expat groups in Seoul and she seemed like she had a sense of humor, gave good advice to people, and she had various travel experiences. She was friends with two mutual friends on Facebook and she was also a Christian, so I thought she was normal and cool enough to be friends on Facebook. Then my church had a Good Friday service in 2018 and I met her there in person for the first time. Again, she seemed normal, we said hello, and that was all for a while.
In August 2018, she sent me a message on Facebook and said she was coming back to Seoul after spending a year traveling in Europe and asked if my company was hiring. Since I knew she would be back in Seoul, I asked if she could be an administrator for a Facebook group that I was running (Expats Who Love South Korea) and she accepted. I was starting seminary, so I just couldn't hold the fort due to me being so busy with work and school. She seemed happy becoming an admin and she took a major role in it while having a huge vision for it. That made me assume that I chose the right person and I thought she would be a great fit to work at my company. Next, she contacted my company and within a week, she was interviewed for a position in the Bundang (a suburb of Seoul) branch of my company.
I assumed she got the job at my academy. However, I only found out that she got the job from the man that interviewed her (my manager's manager). Then I noticed she didn't post anything on the expat page anymore and I also noticed she didn't update me on how the job was going, whether she liked it or not, no "thanks" for introducing her to the position, etc.
In December, I had thought that she had unfriended me on Facebook, but I saw that she was online via Facebook Messenger, so I was annoyed and told her that it wasn't cool that she would "unfriend" me especially after I had given her a job recommendation. Little did I know that she just deactivated her Facebook account. So not only did she not thank me for helping her get the position at Wall Street, but she just stopped being an administrator after only a couple months without letting me know.
I didn't talk about that, but I did apologize for assuming she had "unfriended" me, but it seemed to tick her off to the point where she added a kicker, "Well since you mentioned it, I wasn't very happy when I got interviewed. "(Insert manager's manager name here) rubbed it in my face that you recommended me." I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that he's a nice guy and that he was probably just joking. That didn't seem to make her feel better. And instead of thanking me that she got a job, she resented me. Very weird.
After that she said, "Well since you attacked me for thinking I unfriended you, I don't really want to talk to you today." Then I realized she was a bit strange and very emotional so I said, "Good luck with your future endeavors, 'Carrie'" and left it at that. We were never really friends and I didn't want to keep in touch with someone that I assumed was a drama queen. She was unappreciative about getting a job, she just dropped her duties as an administrator for a group on Facebook without any explanation, and she seemed temperamental.
Well, I was right about her being a drama queen. There were some things behind the scenes that I hadn't known about. Here's one example: Apparently, not only was she annoyed with her interview, but she also had problems finding housing for herself when she got the job. My academy offered her to help her find an apartment, but she insisted on finding one for herself. And when it was all said and done, she had problems finding the apartment on her own, which caused a huge issue. After that, she finally asked my academy to help her and even screamed at my manager's manager to help her get it done. Well, this changed the game. Now, any future hires will no longer be able to find housing on their own because she ruined it.
To add one more problem, she didn't get along with the manager or her coworkers. She didn't like to be asked to do things and it got to the point where she ignored the manager when she asked her questions. She created a really negative atmosphere and the manager "couldn't stand her" (her words). Last but not least, a week after I had an issue with this acquaintance on Facebook, she did a "midnight run" by texting the manager's manager that she would no longer be working at my academy after she had moved all of her things out. However, the Bundang manager was very happy about that regardless of the Center being shorthanded.
To make a long story short (well shorter), be careful who you recommend. If you barely know the person, don't recommend them. I'm embarrassed that I recommended this person and just two weeks ago, a friend asked if there were positions at my company for her friend. I told her that her friend could apply, but I couldn't recommend her based on this story that I just shared.
Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)
Instagram: l.a.seoulguy
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