Be Careful Who You Recommend to Work at Your Company

Although I'm almost 44 years old, you would think that I have experienced a lot in life. Well, I just learned something very valuable as a middle-aged person that everyone needs to know. Some people might think it could be common sense, but it might not be so obvious to others. Hence, this blog post.

Here's my story. I had become an acquaintance with someone on Facebook. She was in various expat groups in Seoul and she seemed like she had a sense of humor, gave good advice to people, and she had various travel experiences. She was friends with two mutual friends on Facebook and she was also a Christian, so I thought she was normal and cool enough to be friends on Facebook. Then my church had a Good Friday service in 2018 and I met her there in person for the first time. Again, she seemed normal, we said hello, and that was all for a while.

In August 2018, she sent me a message on Facebook and said she was coming back to Seoul after spending a year traveling in Europe and asked if my company was hiring. Since I knew she would be back in Seoul, I asked if she could be an administrator for a Facebook group that I was running (Expats Who Love South Korea) and she accepted. I was starting seminary, so I just couldn't hold the fort due to me being so busy with work and school. She seemed happy becoming an admin and she took a major role in it while having a huge vision for it. That made me assume that I chose the right person and I thought she would be a great fit to work at my company. Next, she contacted my company and within a week, she was interviewed for a position in the Bundang (a suburb of Seoul) branch of my company.

I assumed she got the job at my academy. However, I only found out that she got the job from the man that interviewed her (my manager's manager). Then I noticed she didn't post anything on the expat page anymore and I also noticed she didn't update me on how the job was going, whether she liked it or not, no "thanks" for introducing her to the position, etc.

In December, I had thought that she had unfriended me on Facebook, but I saw that she was online via Facebook Messenger, so I was annoyed and told her that it wasn't cool that she would "unfriend" me especially after I had given her a job recommendation. Little did I know that she just deactivated her Facebook account. So not only did she not thank me for helping her get the position at Wall Street, but she just stopped being an administrator after only a couple months without letting me know.

I didn't talk about that, but I did apologize for assuming she had "unfriended" me, but it seemed to tick her off to the point where she added a kicker, "Well since you mentioned it, I wasn't very happy when I got interviewed. "(Insert manager's manager name here) rubbed it in my face that you recommended me." I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that he's a nice guy and that he was probably just joking. That didn't seem to make her feel better. And instead of thanking me that she got a job, she resented me. Very weird.

After that she said, "Well since you attacked me for thinking I unfriended you, I don't really want to talk to you today." Then I realized she was a bit strange and very emotional so I said, "Good luck with your future endeavors, 'Carrie'" and left it at that. We were never really friends and I didn't want to keep in touch with someone that I assumed was a drama queen. She was unappreciative about getting a job, she just dropped her duties as an administrator for a group on Facebook without any explanation, and she seemed temperamental.

Well, I was right about her being a drama queen. There were some things behind the scenes that I hadn't known about. Here's one example: Apparently, not only was she annoyed with her interview, but she also had problems finding housing for herself when she got the job. My academy offered her to help her find an apartment, but she insisted on finding one for herself. And when it was all said and done, she had problems finding the apartment on her own, which caused a huge issue. After that, she finally asked my academy to help her and even screamed at my manager's manager to help her get it done. Well, this changed the game. Now, any future hires will no longer be able to find housing on their own because she ruined it.

To add one more problem, she didn't get along with the manager or her coworkers. She didn't like to be asked to do things and it got to the point where she ignored the manager when she asked her questions. She created a really negative atmosphere and the manager "couldn't stand her" (her words). Last but not least, a week after I had an issue with this acquaintance on Facebook, she did a "midnight run" by texting the manager's manager that she would no longer be working at my academy after she had moved all of her things out. However, the Bundang manager was very happy about that regardless of the Center being shorthanded.

To make a long story short (well shorter), be careful who you recommend. If you barely know the person, don't recommend them. I'm embarrassed that I recommended this person and just two weeks ago, a friend asked if there were positions at my company for her friend. I told her that her friend could apply, but I couldn't recommend her based on this story that I just shared.

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)

Instagram: l.a.seoulguy

"All in This Together" by Pastor Timothy Nam (January 19, 2020)

Psalm 133

God has called us to serve not for only ourselves, but for others, so we can love others. The world tells us to look out for what is best for our own interests. Yet various cultures tell us that sharing things with others and building a community is important. TV shows like Mash, Cheers, Seinfeld, and Friends are shows about people around them. All of the things around myself are meaningless unless I can share them with others.

Fellowship has its roots in Jesus and his disciples living daily and supporting each other. Real fellowship is sacrificial giving, loving, and being authentic. It's not just having a snack and enjoying small talk. Authenticity is being honest about the good and bad things. And you're supposed to ask for help when you need it.

We are awkward because we don't want people to see our pain. The masks actually hide who we truly are. We need to take risks to develop our maturity. It takes risks and it comes with honesty and being genuine. The New Testament repeats "one another" or "each other" over 50 times. We have a responsibility to love the people we are called to love. We are to give sympathy (not give advice) to others by affirming them, loving them, being patient, and doing it at times we don't want to. Yet we are self-centered, prideful, and we have egos.

Matthew 11:28-30 has Jesus giving us an invitation to come to Him because He knows we can be overwhelmed. We are encouraged to lean on and support each other in the most difficult of circumstances. In the place of grace, there is also mercy. There is no fellowship without mercy, forgiveness, or grace. We are called to do this every day with the love of Christ.

We also don't understand what people are going through. Only God and Christ completely understand, so we need to pray for mercy and grace.

Colossians 3:12-17- Jesus gave up his throne so that we could all have fellowship with one another. Let's try to remember that.

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)

Instagram: l.a.seoulguy

Favorite Pictures from my trip to Paris, France (September 4-7, 2017)

Jardin du Luxembourg

A woman making a perfume commericial at Palais Royal

My wife in front of the Louvre Museum

The Eiffel Tower at sunset

Sainte Chapelle

La Conciergerie- Where Marie Antoinette was imprisoned

Van Gogh at Orsay Museum

L'Opera (Opera Garnier)

Eglise de la Madeleine

My wife at The Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile

Myself in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral

Mona Lisa at the Louvre Museum

Eiffel Tower at night

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)

Twitter: scottworden76
Instagram: l.a.seoulguy

"We Belong Together" by Pastor Timothy Nam (January 12, 2020)

Ephesians 2:19-22

The Bible says we have to believe in God but we also need to BELONG to God to become his children. You might not think they go together, but the Bible says differently. We can believe in family, but we might not actually have a family. Everyone believes in something. Some people believe in money, academics, etc. Mercenaries will be on your side as long as they get paid. On the other hand, the military gets paid whatever to support their country. Mercenaries cling to money.

People that have fluttering beliefs are like children and they waver back and forth. Yet when they find a place, they get taken care of. Generally our beliefs put is in a group where we belong (church, high school club, etc.). We need to belong to God, not just believe in Him because no one can fulfill what He can do for us. Man needed a helper because he was never meant to be isolated and solitary.

Our relationship with Jesus is personal, not private. It's easy to believe in God, but not belong to God because we always fall short. Belonging to God is like being a part of a team. A team is made up of different people, but needs to think the same way and unite together. It's difficult in a group dynamic because it's easy to argue and not get anything done. Golf and tennis players don't have much or any conflict. However baseball and basketball teams can get into fights if there's conflict. You have to compromise to get to the same goal, but it's difficult. See Romans 14:4-5:

4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

C.S. Lewis mentioned that the word "member" was first used in church, but now the word has been changed. Now it's mundane and normal. For Christians, being a member is vital because we belong to Christ, so all who believe in Him won't be scattered or be alone. It's a body, not a building. Is it easy to live without any body part?

If everyone on the 2002 Korean World Cup team wanted to score goals, the team wouldn't have been successful. That team did so well because they came together as a team and each player played their position well. Gus Hiddink also got rid of the hierarchy system. They were all equal and they all used their skills uniquely. He made the older players and younger players mix together and he had the inexperienced players work together with the experienced ones. They had to work together and communicate.

Many people believe in Jesus or God, but don't go to church. These people are usually isolated from other believers and can't build each other up and have compassion or fellowship.  We all have a part to play or have a role. People might say "I'm not good enough" or "I'm too good to serve". Both show selfishness, greed, or a self-centered attitude.

Romans 12:6-8 tells us that not using your gifts is a rejection to God. When things don't benefit us directly, we're reluctant to do it. On the other hand, accepting our roles even if we didn't imagine doing them will help us get the most satisfaction in the world.

God calls us to do things that won't give us immediate success or glory. Why? God wants us to love real people. The Christian commitment isn't just to love Christ, but to love other (1 John 1:5-7).

If we say we have faith in God but are not walking in truth, we are lying to God. Yet if we believe in God, we should have fellowship with one another. Your faith in God will cause you to have fellowship with others.

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)
Instagram: l.a.seoulguy

"All You Need is Love" by Pastor Timothy Nam (January 5, 2020)

Matthew 5:43-48

Since it's 2020,  and since it's a round number, people try to make plans for this year or the next decade. But the Bible says it will end in disappointment. We were created in God's image because He is love. But we need to do it in unselfish ways. Many people can love selfishly, but God wants our testimony to the world and we can't do it in a selfish way.

The 1967 song "All You Need is Love" was written during the Hippie movement, which was anti-government and anti-Vietnam War. The Beatles definition of love was that only their version of love was acceptable, the way they did it. That's not true love. It's limited to certain groups of people. Also, love is not just being nice. You sometimes have to be harsh. You have to respect other people's points-of-view. You have to love people who are irritating and love those that are unlovable.

See Matthew 5:43-48. We need to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. The best use of this life is love. It should be our greatest ambition. We need to build relationships but we put off loving others and take our close relationships for granted. We do it because we know they'll be there. We cut down on giving. You can't build relationships without time and effort. We make excuses by saying we're caught up with work and life. Love lasts forever but everything else fades away: money car, clothes, etc.

When people are in their final days, people just want to be loved. The world deep down knows love is the most important thing. They just realize it too late. We will be evaluated on our love. Whenever we love others, we love Jesus. And yes, we can do things with selfish ambition, which is easy today with social media. However, the more time we spend on people, we realize how genuine love is. A mother gives up everything for her child. There's a lack of love in this world because there's a lack of time and focus on others.

Ephesians 5:2 tells us that the best time to love is now. Tell someone you love them and show it. Anything done without love is a waste of time. Recognize the necessity of love in your life.

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)

Instagram: l.a.seoulguy

Happy New Year and Decade from Seoul, South Korea!

Well my friends, 2020 is going to be a huge year. If you're reading this, you'll get rewarded with some huge news. Otherwise, you'll have to wait a couple weeks before I officially announce it to my closest friends. My family already knows the news and some friends that I met on New Year's Eve already know. So....have I kept the suspense going long enough? Well, here it is....The Lord has called my wife and I to move to California by the end of July. Crazy isn't it? I will be just two months short of 17 years in South Korea by the time we leave.

So why in July? Well, our housing contract ends at the end of that month. We considered staying one more year, but my wife would like to get a green card, so the sooner the leave, the better.

What will we do? While living there, my wife will not be able to work until she has lived in America for six months. Then the application process will officially begin once she has lived in the United States for that amount of time. Then she can begin working after six months. I plan to start work in September after traveling a bit in August. I will also keep studying at Gateway Seminary while working. I have to finish 90 credits before I graduate with my Master's in Divinity. By the time we get to California, I will have finished 18 credits so I still have a ways to go, but we're slowing getting there. As far as what kind of job I will do, I'm really concerned about that. I would like to stay in the education field. I used to be a teacher's assistant with autistic kids and I have 16 years of experience in the EFL world. But in California, you generally need a Master's Degree to teach EFL. Maybe I can teach at a Christian private school as a high school teacher, maybe get involved in real estate, or maybe teach online. At this moment, I'm not sure. I am praying and I will also do a lot of applying for anything that can help pay the bills and keep our family surviving. Thankfully, my dad will let us live with him for awhile and we have some savings, so we're not in desperate mode yet. On the other hand, we would love to buy a house, even if it's a small condo.

Will I miss Korea? Absolutely. South Korea is my second home. Here's a list of things that I will miss:

• convenient public transportation
• my church that has Korean people as well as non-Koreans who worship together
• Korean barbecue, Korean fried chicken, and other kinds of Korean food that are reasonably priced
• traveling to areas outside of Seoul that have a lot of nature
• the friendliness of the people that own shops near our home
• my coworkers
• my friends in Korea (Korean and non-Korean alike)
• the mystique of Asia itself
• the ability to travel around Asia easily

Am I excited or scared? Both. South Korea has been comfortable. I haven't had many worries especially financially. That will be my biggest concern. I will also have to balance between working in America and studying while living with my dad for a short period. This means less privacy and trying hard not to wear out our welcome at my dad's home. However, my dad is looking forward to us coming home and so am I. Things that I miss include the laid back lifestyle of Southern California, the food, and my family. This is obviously at the top of my list since I haven't seen my nephews and nieces grow up. 

How about my wife? She is excited. She can't wait to leave. She feels very burned out with church life in South Korea. Busy, busy busy...And she's been to America three times. She keeps researching about the price of homes every day and she keeps talking about leaving. She's ready. 

Please pray for us. We need it! We want to obey the Lord's direction, but we also want to be wise in how we follow His lead. We want to be wise with our finances, while at the same time be independent while we are living in California. Please pray for my wife's visa process to go through and for it to go smoothly. Please also pray that I will get a job that coincides with me studying. On top of that, I want a job that's rewarding, not just a dead-end one. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Scott Worden (The L.A./Seoul Guy)

Instagram: l.a.seoulguy